pakistani gets shifted to US

Once a Pakistani boy shifted to America with his family..
On his first day at his new school his teacher asked him what his name was..
He replied "my name is Mohammad "
His teacher said you are an American now..your name from today will be Johnny.

He went home and his parents asked "how was your day Mohammad?"
He said "I am an American and my name is Johnny and don't call me Mohammad from today"
He got a nice beating from his parents!

Next day at school his teacher asked "How was your first day in America Johnny ?"
Johnny replied "It has been just 24hours since i shifted to America and I was beaten up by 2 Pakistanis"

difference between civil and mechanical engineers

the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers is that
mechanical engineers make weapons and
civil engineers make targets to test those weapons!

funniest school kids

joke on drunk guy

Police stops a drunk guy at midnight and asked him where he is going!

The drunk replies: To attend a lecture on ill effects of drinking!

Policeman replies: Who's gonna give you a lecture at midnight?

Drunk: My wife.

the great santa!

संता रात कों घर नहीं आया तो सब परेशान हो गए . 

सुबह होने पर पता चला के संता रत को बैंक के बहार सो रहा था

सब ने एक ही सवाल पुचा संता को की क्यों वो बैंक के बहार सो रहा था

तभी संता ने बैंक के बहार लगा हुआ बोर्ड दिखाया जिसमे लिखा था " यहाँ सोने पर लोन मिलती है "

wife calls husband!

Wife calls up her husband

Wife: Where the hell are you???!!

Husband: Darling do you remember that jewelery shop where you had seen a necklace and fell in love with it and I had told you that I have no money and promised you to buy it one day!!

Wife(tremendously happy) : yaa i remember my love!

Husband: I am in the pub just next to that shop!

drama in classroom

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home!

Santa throws his bag out of the window.

Teacher: Who threw that?

Santa: I did, I am going home.

sender: ashish