Latest news from Hell.

Latest news from Hell

M. F. Hussain has reached and is currently drawing a nude portrait of Osama Bin Laden.

all the way to sun!

Santa and Banta, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

Santa said to Banta, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

Banta replied "But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And Santa answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Santa at border!

Santa comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered Santa.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Santa all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases Santa, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto Santa's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says Santa.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Santa, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, Santa doesn't show up one day and the guard Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

Santa, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

Smart Santa

A Santa and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from New York to Paris. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $10,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $1000."

This catches the Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $10.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Santa and hands him $1000.

The Santa thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Santa reaches into his purse,hands the American $10,and goes back to sleep.

Santa's pregnant wife

Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

santa's son at medical college

Santa:  I am a proud father, my son is in medical college.

Banta: what is he studying?

Santa: He is not studying, they are studying him!!!!

Cast of 'Hangover-3'